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Review: Amethyst Geode Dildo by Number One Laboratory

Who is Number One Laboratory?

Number One Laboratory is a trans-friendly indie company, known for their highly-realistic STPs. Everything is sculpted by hand (and sometimes even hand-painted) to be as realistic and functional as possible. If you haven’t seen their BJ Dildo (designed to give a realistic suction feeling during BJs), you definitely need to check it out. Also, they make the most realistic, gory and terrifying Zombie Dildo I have ever seen (check it out my Halloween post!).

Oh Gee! A Geode

Geode crystals are one of the most remarkable, beautiful things in nature, and they make a pretty darn interesting dildo too! I grew up in a family of serious rockhounds, and I have had the pleasure many times of seeing what appears to be an ordinary-looking rock go through the rock saw and pop open to reveal hundreds of tiny, sparkling crystals inside.  When it comes to realism, Number One Laboratory gets high marks from me. Not only do they have the shape and colors looking good, but there is a pale sparkly swirl running over the surface of the crystals that catches the sunlight and adds to the effect. Here I have a picture of the Geode dildo next to a real geode crystal so you can see the similarities:

For the SERIOUS Texture Lover

When I first looked at the pics of the Geode dildo, I had never seen anything like it and I really didn’t know quite what to expect. Texture INSIDE the dildo?! Would I even be able to feel it? The answer is a resounding yes. In fact, I would say this is probably the most intensely-textured dildo in my entire collection (and since I am a texture-hound, that is saying something!). It is a truly unique sensation, because the back half of the dildo is rather smooth with a matte-like finish, while the front half has all the texture I can handle (and then some). I had to adjust my technique a bit in order to really enjoy this toy. I recommend using small firm strokes that grab the skin and slide skin over the muscle underneath, rather than just sawing roughly across the surface of the skin itself.

See how the toy texture pulls at the skin without sliding? This is the technique I like to use.

You’re going to think I’m kidding when I say this, but I promise I’m not. If you use it dry, it makes a great back scratcher and is awesome for sensation play if you want a nice all-over scritching.

Here you can see the difference between the textured front and the smooth back and sides:

Can You Clean it Though?

Probably the number one question I’ve been asked about this toy is: how on earth do you clean something so textured? Number One Laboratory recommends using a condom over the toy to make cleaning easier, and while that’s a great idea…I just personally don’t care for the feel of condoms over sex toys. I never have, never will. Instead, I clean my Geode with soap and water and then pop it in the dishwasher. That seems to do the trick just fine.

Specs

  • Total height: 8″/about 20cm
  • Useable length: 7″/about 18cm
  • Circumference: 4.5″/about 11.5cm
  • Diameter: 1.43″/about 3.63cm
  • Material: Platinum Silicone
  • Color: Amethyst
  • Shore hardness: about 10A

Know Before You Buy

  • Don’t let the fact that much of the texture appears to be inside the hollow (or that the back side of the toy is more or less smooth) fool you. This toy feels HIGHLY textured when you use it and is also a firm density. It is one of the most textured toys in my entire collection, and that is saying something. If you are not a serious texture fiend, this is probably not the toy for you.
  • Number One Laboratory recommends using a condom over the dildo for ease of cleaning. I don’t care for the feel of condoms over dildos that much, so I clean mine with soap and water and then pop it in the dishwasher and it works just fine.
  • The Geode comes in three colors (Amethyst, Emerald, Sapphire), but only one size. It has a very modest, accessible girth, which can be great if you are looking for something smaller. Not one for the size queens.
  • The coloring and detail in this toy is pretty realistic. I didn’t know this just from seeing the pictures, but when I saw mine irl, I noticed that there is a swirl of sparkle in the coloring. This gives the crystals a slight shimmer which looks very cool in the sunlight.

Thank you to Number One Laboratory for providing me with the Geode Dildo in exchange for my honest review.

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