What is Tantra?
I have had some pretty incredible orgasmic experiences in my life: I’ve had big bone-rattling ones, multi-multi-multi orgasms, squirting orgasms, and orgasms from anal stimulation alone. Once I even had an orgasm from scratching the bottom of my foot. But all of them combined together pale in comparison to the one I had through Tantra.
At the time I only knew a few Tantric techniques that I had learned piecemeal from books here and there. I was fascinated by stories of orgasms just from breathing alone, and especially excited by the idea of “amrita” (learning to squirt). On this particular day, I spent just under two hours using breathing, visualization, and sound while I massaged my whole body first, and then my G-spot. Rather than allowing my body to clench like I would in my usual orgasms, I would remind myself to relax…then relax even more deeply. The more I relaxed and breathed and focused on the sensations in my body, the deeper my pleasure became. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, I had the best orgasm of my life.
I realize that when I describe my best orgasmic experience, you’ll likely think I was on drugs (I wasn’t). By the clock, the orgasm itself lasted over 10 minutes. You read that right! Not seconds, but minutes. For over 10 whole minutes, I was in a pure and utter state of ecstasy, with tiny little waves of even brighter peaks rippling up every few seconds. I’ve experienced multiple orgasms many times, but this was so much more than that. I was in a general state of orgasm, with endless waves of tiny orgasms inside. I felt my whole body exploding, and at the same time, I felt entirely disembodied, as insubstantial as a beam of sunlight. I couldn’t tell where my body ended, and the rest of the world began.
When I finally came down from my orgasmic high, the whole world around me had changed. It was so beautiful. Colors were unbelievably vivid and bright, and I just couldn’t stop staring at the palms of my hands…they were luminous and appeared to sparkle, and were more breathtaking than anything I had ever seen. Even the little imperfections in the world, like a spot on the side of the bathtub that I had missed while cleaning, seemed to be filled with some sort of mysterious, hypnotic magic. I was entranced. I was utterly overwhelmed with a deep, limitless love for everyone and everything, and I felt utterly and completely whole. This effect took hours to slowly wear off before I felt “normal” again, but it left a lasting mark on my psyche. It gave me a taste of more possibilities for sex than I had any idea existed.
To say the least, that esperience left me hungry for more. When I heard that there was a Tantra seminar happening in Boulder, Colorado at the same time I was scheduled to be there on a trip, I was so excited! But this was not just any old Tantra seminar, from any old Tantra teacher. This one was hosted by Chares Muir himself, one of the original pioneers of modern Tantra and founder of the Source School of Tantra Yoga. Sign me up!
What is the Source School of Tantra Yoga?
The Source School of Tantra Yoga was founded in 1978 by Charles Muir, one of the originators of our modern system of Tantra in the US. Every year, the Source School offers a variety of in-person workshops, from weekend seminars to 11-day exotic vacation retreats in Thailand. These workshops cover topics like Sacred Spot Massage (G-spot massage), amrita (squirting) and more. Through the Source School, you can also become a Certified Tantric Educator.
I couldn’t wait to attend Tantra Intro Night & and the Puja Ceremony, in Boulder and I was alive with anticipation as I sat in the audience. I wasn’t even entirely sure what a “Puja Ceremony” was, but I was eager to find out.
The event was held at a Mennonite Church, which frankly made me a little nervous, not being particularly religious myself. My fears here were entirely unfounded, as it was just like any other lecture at an intimate little hall would be.
The first half was a well-presented and thoughtful seminar, that covered the basic philosophy behind what Tantra is. A common expectation when people first want to learn about Tantra is that it is a specific set of Kama Sutra positions or secret “guaranteed-instant-orgasm-every-time-for-everybody” kind-of-skills (those don’t exist!). It is more about slowing down and learning to stay present with the sensations you are feeling, with your breath, and with your partner. In this way, it becomes a kind of sexual meditation practice.
Once the lecture had ended, we took a small break while our hosts set up for the Puja Ceremony. For those of you that don’t know (I didn’t either—but thanks Google!), “Puja” simply means a ritual to host, honor or celebrate an event. In this case, the Puja was a type of hands-on group meditation. We were asked to form a circle with the men on the outside of the circle, and women on the inside. At first, the women were instructed to place their hands on their partner’s chest, while Charles led us in meditation. Then, we shifted over one partner to the left, and repeated this process. Sometimes, the women were asked to take the man’s hand and place it on the center of their own chest, and sometimes it was the women who placed their hands on the men. Throughout the meditation practice, the focus was on healing the old wounds that you might be carrying around from past experiences, and on sending love and acceptance into the partner you were touching. Once we had made it all the way around the circle to our original partner, one of the Source School teachers ended the meditation by singing a lovely song.
Secrets of Female Sexual Ecstasy
After the Puja had concluded, I had the opportunity to talk for a few minutes with Charles Muir himself. He was a very nice and personable guy and was wonderful to talk to. He was also kind enough to give me one of his videos, Secrets of Female Sexual Ecstasy, to review on my blog. Thanks a million, Charles!
The Secrets of Female Sexual Ecstasy uses real-world couples to help explain some of the key principles behind Tantra, as well as information on G-Spot massage, squirting, and ejaculation control for penis owners. Largely, this video concentrates more on concepts than a laundry-list of very specific positions or hand techniques. With what I know of Tantra, this makes sense. The outward techniques are far less important than the attitude, approach, and awareness you bring to the practice.
I found the segment on penis ejaculation witholding to be particularly fascinating, and it gives me mixed feelings. On one hand, I am a cum-lover, and one of the high points of a sexual experience for me is watching that delicious moment happen. If ejaculation is completely withheld…I’m not even sure how I’d feel about ending without it (but I’d love to talk to someone who is experienced with ejaculation control to learn more about their thoughts and experiences!). On the other hand, the video has a good point: ejaculation brings the end of the sexual experience. To the Tantric way of thinking, the enjoyment of the journey is more important than the destination, and prolonging the journey to savor as much sexual energy as possible is of prime importance. I can relate to that.
(**Special note, ejaculation witholding only applies to penis owners. Squirting for vaginas is not only encouraged, but is also taught and cultivated through this practice).
I do, however, have one disclaimer. This video was filmed in the 1990s, and being several decades old now, it is dated in some important ways. I’m not just talking about mullets and tastes in music. This information was filmed at a time when a cis/white/hetero/monogamous perspective was even more pervasive and prevalent than it is now, and it operates from that basis. I know many of you reading this right now don’t fit those stereotypes or paradigms, and I am very sensitive to and aware of this. While I think that there is valuable and universal information contained inside, it is something that many of you will need to be willing to sift, translate, and adapt in order to get the full benefit from.
All in all, the Intro Night was a wonderful experience, and I hope to get a chance to stay for an entire weekend seminar sometime in the future. If one of these seminars comes to your neighborhood, I recommend that you go check it out and see what you think. If you do, drop me a line and let me know what you thought! I’d love to hear about your experiences.