Dildos

A glow-in-the-dark dildo that ejaculates homemade gelatin eggs? Well....OK, why not?! After my previous experience with the Tonguetacle, I was ready for anything!

This toy is an honest-to-god work of art. I'm blown away by the detail, design and color. And yes, the nubs feel just as fabulous as they look.

I've seen some pretty unusual sex toys in my time, but the Tonguetacle really takes the cake. Now, before you say, "A 3ft tongue??! EW!!!" and squick away, just hear me out. As odd as it sounds (and I truly never thought I'd be saying this!), a massage with the Tonguetalce is actually a very sexy experience...

"OMG WOOOW!" Those are the words that *would* have been coming out of my mouth if I hadn't been more or less incoherent and in the midst of a super intense orgasm. Not only is it a fantastic feeling toy, but because Split Peaches asks for and listens to customer feedback, I actually got to have a hand in making the design!

Squishy, curved, with a silky matte shaft, the Adam 02 won my heart over in a big way. In fact, it's one of my favorite things in my toybox. Why do I love the Adam so freaking much, you ask? Well, here's the scoop.

Bright and colorful, there's no doubt that the Hue G is a cute lil' guy. It's fairly rumbly and powerful for the price, and for the most part I'm impressed. Despite my previous reservations about Blush, I have to say that this toy has grown on me a bit.

If I could sum up the way I feel about the Audre in one word, it would be this: Ambivalence. Strong & rumbly with a fun French theme, the Audre has a lot of good things going for it. And yet.... while I was writing my review, my adventure with the Audre took a few really crazy-making twists & turns. Why was this toy such a rollercoaster ride you ask? Well, here's my story....

Holy mackerel! A mermaid-themed toy that sparkles AND glows in the dark? And what’s that you say? It’s dual-density too?! Oooh gimmie, gimmie, gimmie....

Let’s face it, buying a good-quality sex toy can be a $eriously expen$ive inve$tment. Worth every penny? Absolutely! But sometimes you just don’t have the $$$ in your budget. So what can you do if you’re running a little short on ca$h?

If you buy this dildo, I swear I will slap you silly with it (and no, not in a way you’ll like).  This is, bar none, the WORST sex toy I have ever bought.  I’m not kidding. But what’s not to love, you say?  It squirts! It looks and feels so real! …